


Lost Reason

by sirbartonslady



Series: Innocent Sorrow [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 07:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirbartonslady/pseuds/sirbartonslady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen tries to figure out just how he and Lavi came to be in such a compromising position, while their friends worry that the sudden romance might compromise Allen's ability to fight Akuma by disrupting his concentration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Reason

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over four years old; it was originally published on February 25, 2008. As such, it is very, very far from current with the manga storyline. I consider this story and its sequels to be slightly AU from the actual canon due to how canon deviated after the story was written. However, this series of stories is one of my favorites of anything I've written, so I'm willing to bring it over here.
> 
> To give you an idea of where in the canon I began to deviate, I started writing this story before Malcolm Lvellie and Howard Link were ever introduced in the manga.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "D. Gray-man" or its characters. It all belongs to the brilliant Katsura Hoshino-sensei. I'm just playing in the sandbox of this beautiful and complex world.

Allen Walker was quite certain that somewhere along the line, he'd taken leave of his senses. That was the only logical explanation. Yes, that had to be it. If that wasn't it, then there had to be a reasonable explanation for why he was suddenly, on the heels of a dangerous fight with Akuma, ensconced on a narrow hotel bed with a lascivious redhead trying to drown him with kisses. (He hadn't even had a chance to take off his silver-embellished greatcoat or loosen his collar, now that he thought about it.)

There wasn't a reasonable justification for any of this. Ergo, Allen was just stark raving bonkers.

It'd sure be nice to know exactly what the hell was going on, and exactly when he'd kicked reason and sense into freefall, though. Seriously.

The bed groaned under the combined weight of two rambunctious young adults. Allen abstractly noted that the silver brooch that normally adorned his coat, situated over the heart, had come off in the fray and was now gouging him rather obnoxiously in his left shoulder-blade. The edges of the star-edged cross were sharp.

Amusingly, he could see flashes of bright gold overhead, whenever the flaming locks of red hair managed to part long enough to show some ceiling.

_Oh bloody-- Timcanpy, do you have to hang around right now?_

He'd never much liked being on his back like this, though he certainly had never been in a situation quite like this one. Lavi outweighed him by ten kilos at least, and he was practically sitting on Allen's stomach. Sitting? Maybe more like leaning. Or laying. Whatever. The point was, he had a considerable amount of his weight pressed on Allen's abdomen, and it was starting to get uncomfortable.

His air supply was abruptly cut off when the kiss deepened to the point of there being no room for respiration. His lusty partner seemed determined to suffocate him.

"Lavi!" He gasped, pushing his partner away, "I need air! I can't breathe!"

"Eh heh heh," the other Exorcist chuckled as he sat back, shifting his weight onto his knees. Allen stifled a sigh of relief as the pressure was taken off his abdomen. "Sorry about that, I guess I got carried away."

 _You guess? Aren't you always getting carried away?_ Allen thought crossly, but just coughed and stretched his neck instead of saying what he thought. He tried to sit up.

Timcanpy settled on Allen's head, nestling into his silver-white hair. Lavi threw his head back and laughed, then swung his leg over Allen, as if dismounting a horse. With a complete fluidity of movement that had always been to some degree his hallmark, the young Bookman-in-training hopped from the bed to the floor, standing up straight and tall, stretching his long limbs. He straightened his shirt, which was rumpled and rendered somewhat akimbo on his solid frame by the roughness of their little... romp?

Allen glanced up at his... well, Lavi was still a friend. Companion. Partner? Anyway.... er, where was he going with this train of thought anyway? Oh, that... er, best not to think about it just yet; he didn't want to have any... embarrassing anatomical reactions. He wasn't sure he wanted to go that far just yet.

Those kisses weren't innocent or anything. Lavi didn't do anything by halves, that was for damned sure! Granted, he hadn't gone any further than a deep kiss, but... well, it was only a matter of time.

 _Isn't this supposed to be awkward? After what he just said to me, and what we just did, he's acting like it's..._ He sized up his companion's casual silhouette. _He's taking this all in stride!_

Which was just what Lavi always did, now that he thought about it. Pretty much the only thing that could really rattle him was grievous injury to one of his friends. He was a social creature who thrived on his friendships. He seemed to love all his friends deeply and in equal measure. That he'd harbored something more for Allen should have come as a downright shock.

Though, really, Allen supposed that he should be more surprised that he himself harbored something more than mere friendship for the fiery-haired joker. (Wait... did he just call Lavi a _joker_? The irony was getting a little ridiculous.)

Exactly at what point did he fall for Lavi anyway? Or had he even fallen at all?

Was he in love? He'd never really consciously considered Lavi as more than a friend until just an hour or two ago. Had it always been there? Or was this just... a reaction? A reaction to Lavi nearly dying, after taking on a particularly sturdy Level Three earlier in the day. The Level Three had managed to inject some of its blood into Lavi after catching him by surprise. Had their companion Arystar Krory not been on hand to draw out the Akuma blood toxin, Lavi would've been completely beyond help. (Lavi had been annoyed at being "vampired" again. Apparently, this had happened at least once before.)

The recollection of the tall Romanian, who was currently combing the town for the rest of their party, propelled Allen off his back, off the bed and to his feet.

"Krory!" He said breathlessly. He could just see the baron's dark eyes glaring at him in disapproval. (Exactly why Krory would disapprove, he had no idea. Krory himself was last person to pass judgment on someone else's love. Still, there was very little resembling "logic" going through Allen's mind right now.)

Lavi raised his eyebrow at him. "What about Kro-chan? He'll be fine, Allen. He just went to get the others." Since the group had split up earlier in the day, and theirs had found a suitable inn with space enough for all of them, Allen and Lavi had secured the rooms for their party of seven, while Krory went to find the rest of their party: the two ladies, the old man and the sourgrapes.

Allen's mind was already running ahead of him. "Look, Lavi, what just happened... we can't tell anyone!"

Lavi faced him, hands on his hips. Animosity seemed to bubble just beneath the surface of his demeanor. "What, are you ashamed already?"

"It's not that," Allen held his hands out quickly in a placating gesture, in vain attempt to ease the suddenly-hostile atmosphere. "I just... don't think everyone will be so understanding right away. Especially since... I mean, we don't..." (How to say that this might not be permanent? After all, there was no telling that any of this wasn't a reaction to something that had happened recently. Their worlds had both been upended repeatedly recently.) "Feelings can be so fleeting..."

Lavi scowled and turned away. "Should've guessed you'd say that. You don't commit yourself to anything unless there's Akuma involved." He heaved a sigh and crossed the floor to the window, looking out over the town. After a moment's awkward silence, in which Allen struggled to say something to ease his discomfort, Lavi sighed again and turned around, his face masked with his usual carefree smile. "Well, whatever. I offered you my heart, and I meant it. Whatever you do with it is up to you, I suppose."

He was trying to act nonchalant, but Allen could tell that he was hurting. And no wonder, really. Here he'd managed to get up the courage to bear his soul and admit his feelings to Allen, feelings that could all too easily ruin a friendship... The younger Exorcist mentally kicked himself for hurting Lavi like that. Swiping Timcanpy off his head and tossing the golem onto the nightstand, Allen shrugged out of his coat, tossing it carelessly onto the bed, and advanced on his friend ... (could he still use so platonic a term for Lavi?) ... embracing him from behind and clasping him tightly. It felt... more intimate without the coat. (Careful... that was dangerous thought-territory.)

"Lavi, I'm just confused," he murmured into the fabric of Lavi's shirt, pressing his cheek against his shoulder. Lavi wasn't much taller than Allen -- less than ten centimeters -- but at times like this, he seemed much taller than he was. "Disoriented. I don't know exactly what I'm feeling right now. This all happened so suddenly. And besides," he added a heartbeat later, eyeing the empty wine glass on the nearby table. "You may feel differently in the morning, when you wake up -- "

"I'm stone sober, Allen," Lavi said coldly. "It takes more than one glass to do me in. I can assure you, I'm not even remotely drunk. It's not like I don't want to, mind you, I've been wanting to drink you off my mind, ever since we thought you were dead. I just can't allow myself to get that drunk. You might be confused, Allen, but I'm not. I know how I feel; I've spent far too long dwelling on it. I wouldn't have said a word to you about it if I wasn't sure."

Well, that didn't help. If anything, it made Allen feel all the more wretched. He tightened his grip, as if crushing Lavi to him would convey what words seemed doomed to fail in expressing.

Funny how epiphany strikes. As he stood there with his arms around the Exorcist who had managed to become dearest to his heart, Allen was hit, figuratively, full in the teeth with epiphany. The little gestures, the words spoken in confidence, a lifetime's amalgamation of friendship distilled into a few months. One night, on their mission to find General Cross, when Allen had been unable to sleep, Lavi had talked to him at great length about what a bookman did. Allen hadn't really realized it at the time, and it hadn't sunk in later when Road Kamelot referenced it, but Lavi was in many ways an actor. He played a role, blending in, for the sake of the books he archived. Like the current Bookman himself, bookmen led solitary, nameless lives.

Almost as if for the first time, he felt he was finally understanding Lavi. What exactly triggered this, or even how he knew and could be certain of the veracity, was anyone's guess. But somehow, he understood the deeper layers of the red-haired Exorcist. Lavi had been through many aliases, using and discarding them as one wore and discarded bandages, and to some degree, for the same reasons. There was deep, scarring pain there, ancient and buried, but not dead. Lavi had his secrets and his own private anguishes, that he chose to hide from others for the sake of a smile.

Abruptly, Allen flashed back to that unholy moment inside the Ark, when Lavi, driven insane by Road Kamelot's power, had turned his weapon against him.

 _"I am not your companion."_ Those harsh words rang over and over inside Allen's ears. The cold delivery, the empty, emotionless eyes, and the full strength of Lavi's Innocence turned against him... and then the geyser of flames that had engulfed them all, centered around Lavi. This brought to the surface the lancing sorrow that Allen had felt when he had been forced to consider slaying Lavi in order to save himself, Chaoji and Lenalee. His heart had nearly burst with grief at the thought.

 _"Can't you... hear my voice?"_ He'd begged and pleaded, his chest aching with grief and rent with agony. Perhaps that was the moment that love had been born in his heart? Or at least acknowledged? He recalled thinking, not saying, to Lavi that he needed him, couldn't bear to be without him. A victory, even an absolute victory, would have been completely hollow if his friends hadn't come back with him. Still, did that make this love something more than friendship?

And then, Lavi had regained consciousness and had reversed his attack, taking it upon himself. The full strength of the Fire Seal was more than formidable -- it was downright dangerous. He'd been prepared, and in fact intent, on sustaining the full attack, conflagrating himself in order to take down the First Noah. Had he succeeded, it was likely that he wouldn't have come back with the rest of them. Krory and Kanda had each virtually sacrificed themselves in order to stop a Noah, and Lavi had nearly done the same. It had only been Allen, nearly forcing himself beyond his limit, intervening and using his Innocence as a cloak to shield them both, that had spared Lavi a fiery death.

Looking back (and bloody hindsight was _not_ twenty-twenty on this!) Allen couldn't discern if his relief at Lavi's survival had been as innocent and platonic as it had seemed at the time. Lavi was his best friend, there were no two ways about it. He had become closer to Allen than any of their friends, except for maybe Lenalee, in part because of his easy-going and open personality, and in part because he seemed like a kindred spirit. Someone else who had seen and suffered much, and who embraced the Exorcist life with his whole being. Was it possible that this propinquity of spirits was in fact more deeply seated than Allen had previously thought?

Another unwelcome wave of recollection came spiraling in, that of Lavi and Chaoji disappearing into an endless darkness, the metal hammer shattered beyond use. Allen still blamed himself for not being quick enough to lasso him or Chaoji as they fell. He had that ability, but he hadn't thought to do it until they were gone. The grief of their loss, combined with the presumed losses of Kanda and Krory, had sent Allen right up against the edge of sanity. At the time, he hadn't questioned the rage that seared through him. Now, though, he was unsure if that had been the proverbial straw, or if it had been the presumed loss of Lavi, the one dearest to his heart, that had sparked such hate and wrath.

Was it incidental, coincidental, or deliberate, that the first person he'd thought of, when playing the Melody that had revived his fallen friends and had restored the dying Ark... wait, was that first thought of Lavi? No, now that he considered it... Komui had been first to come to mind, by virtue of his words echoing in his mind, Lenalee second, Lavi third. Because that was the order that Komui had stated them in. And yet, his heart had ached acutely in thinking of Lavi... or was he remembering wrong?

Things between them had been different after the Ark incident, though Allen had assumed it was just because he himself had changed. After all, he had managed to revitalize his Innocence and awaken its true form, and in doing so he had reached beyond 100% synchronicity with it, thereby effectively making him a general, in theory if not in practice. And somehow, he'd managed to save them all at the last second, thanks to the legacy left behind by so-called Fourteenth Noah. His friends owed him their lives, if one looked at it objectively. He wouldn't have blamed them for being stand-offish after that. Allen had mostly assumed that the differences in his relationship and friendship with Lavi were easily explained by considering just how much they'd both been through recently.

He hadn't realized until today that it was because Lavi had come to a decision regarding his own feelings. The redhead had been stewing for this long on how to broach the subject to Allen. He'd taken advantage of them having the room to themselves for a little while when Krory volunteered to go find the others. He'd cornered Allen, forced him to listen, and had laid it out all matter of fact. Allen still couldn't figure out why Lavi's confession hadn't shocked him as much as it should have.

Lavi twisted rather effortlessly in Allen's embrace, turning to face him and to put his arms around him. Despite all this, despite all the thoughts spinning wildly through Allen's mind, Lavi's return embrace was warm, comforting, soothing and comfortable. As abruptly as the chaos had entered Allen's mind, it silenced as their lips connected again.

"I can't help it." Lavi repeated his words from earlier, bringing one hand up to Allen's chin. "I love you, Allen. I've tried to deny it, I tried to stop it. I'm not supposed to get emotionally involved with anyone in the Order. But I can't... not love you."

"I just don't want you to get hurt. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you." Allen clenched his hands in the fabric of Lavi's shirt, gritting his jaws in frustration with himself. Why couldn't he just make up his mind now? Was this what he wanted or not? "This is all just so sudd--"

"Bah, you're talking too much again," Lavi retorted gently, and stopped his mouth. Allen gave up; it was too hard resisting, and part of him wanted this too.

The kiss deepened. Mutually. There was just something about this that felt right. Allen had never once really questioned his sexuality or gender preference. He had maintained for some time an attraction to Lenalee, but...

Lavi must have sensed his unease, because he didn't move to throw Allen onto one of the beds like he had before. This embrace suited him as well, apparently. Allen pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead against Lavi's in weariness. He felt a strong urge to curl up and sleep. But it felt good to be held like this. He could barely remember the last time someone had held him tenderly like this.

The last person to hold him so gently and lovingly had been Mana...

Allen's eyes stung with the wave of unexpected nostalgia. No one could ever fill the hole Mana had left behind. Even all these years removed, there was still that gaping wound deep in his soul, bandaged and buried, but still unhealed.

"What the hell, Allen? Are you crying?"

Damn. He'd forgotten that Lavi was peerless at observing things. Allen clenched his jaws to keep from saying anything, attempting to will the tears to retreat. They did, for the most part, though one rebellious tear escaped.

"You _are_ crying! What the hell!" Lavi gripped him by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Allen, what's wrong? I've never seen you like this!"

"Don't scold me," Allen said tersely, wiping his eyes. "I was just thinking about Mana."

"What? Why?"

"Because he was the last person to say 'I love you' to me. He was the last person who ever hugged me. I spent three hellish years with Master. I pretty much forgot what it was like to be loved."

Lavi's face contorted in concern; "I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms tightly around Allen. "If it makes you feel better, I know you feel. I know how hard that can be. I don't recall anyone ever saying 'I love you' to me."

"Really?" Somehow he'd had never considered that Lavi's childhood had been bereft of affection. It shouldn't have surprised him; Lavi had to have had a reason to go through so many aliases.

"'Fraid so."

"Allow me to rectify that," Allen murmured. "I can say with complete honesty that this is true, because it is love one way or another." He paused a moment for emphasis and raised his eyes to meet the green depths of Lavi's visible eye. "I love you, Lavi. Whether as a lover, or merely as my best friend, I love you."

"Wow," Lavi blinked, looking pole-axed. "That... that felt good."

"You _are_ my best friend, Lavi. You were the first Exorcist that I really worked with as an equal, who treated me as an equal. Kanda has always been condescending, and Lenalee seemed like she was trying to guide me through, as if she didn't trust me to handle it on my own."

Lavi's countenance became grave. "That... that was an act, you know. I wasn't really kidding around when I called you Beansprout back then. I was under orders from Gramps to keep an eye on you, because of Hevlaska's prediction. We wanted to see what you could do. I didn't think you had a lot in you; the first time we fought Akuma together, you were slower than a seven year itch. You let your eye handicap you. Now, the way you handled Kro-chan impressed me. But prior to that, it was all an act."

Allen shrugged. "I suppose I should expect nothing less from a bookman. But regardless, you've always treated me as an equal. And inside the Ark, you fought beside me, and even came to my aide when Tyki went crazy."

"Gah!" Lavi grimaced. "Fucking Tyki Mikk! My hammer hasn't felt the same since then! He bloody well wrecked it, and it's just not the same since it was reforged." He had suffered a loss of synchronicity with his Innocence after the mallet was reforged. Their fellow Exorcist Kanda Yuu, whose equipment Innocence had suffered extensive damage that required it to be reforged, had apparently no issues with his new weapon. That was to some degree why Lavi had been taken by surprise earlier in the day against an Akuma.

Allen chuckled. "Trust me, I'm quite familiar with his handiwork with Innocence."

After a prolonged silence, Lavi stole another kiss from Allen's lips.

Pity that Lavi had his uncovered eye occupied, because he completely missed the door opening. His attention was so focused on Allen that he didn't even hear the door unlatch.

"Oi! What the hell, beansprout?" Kanda's voice split the silence with the same razor sharp edge as his Mugen blade. Allen went rigid with astonishment and Lavi froze.

Everyone else was standing in the doorway, staring at two of them, tangled in an intimate embrace and in the midst of a deep kiss. The reactions were as varied as the personalities: confusion (Krory), embarrassment (Miranda), utter shock (Lenalee), disgust (Kanda) and complete stoicism (Bookman).

"Well, that's something I didn't see coming," Krory deadpanned.

Allen balled up his right fist and drove it into Lavi's chest. "Dammit, Lavi! You _idiot!_ "

"Hey, what are you hitting _me_ for? And yelling at me? You were a willing participant, Allen, I didn't have to force you to do a damned thing!"

"Well, I've lost my appetite," Kanda huffed. "And I hope you don't expect me to share a room with those two if they're like _that_."

"We secured three rooms. This one has three beds, and the other two have two each," Krory replied. "I can -- "

"I will room here," the Bookman announced, in a tone that brooked no argument. His dark-ringed eyes were trained intently on his protégé. To his credit, Lavi didn't squirm under the Bookman's unwavering gaze.

"Come along, Lenalee," Miranda said gently to Lenalee, "let's get settled into our room before the generals call." They were expecting a transmission from one of the four generals regarding the current situation. They had been forced to flee the Black Order's headquarters when the Millennium Earl led an attack on it. They had fled to the far south of France. With the suspicions that Lenalee was the conformer of the Innocence Heart, they had to keep her safe at all costs. They planned to take up temporary residence in Nice, in a place where Lenalee's brother Komui was ferreting out at present and would have set up for them upon arrival. There they would await word that they could return to the Headquarters, defending as necessary. Lenalee and Allen hated the thought of abandoning their fellow Order friends, but the generals had been united in their orders for the group to escape quickly. Currently, they had stopped just south of Avignon. General Cross had covered their escape with the power of Maria's Magdala Curtain and then had gone on the offense to draw the Earl's attention away from them.

Kanda quit the room with his usual disdain. Krory heaved a sigh at getting such a sour-puss for a roommate, but took his leave from the room without another word.

Bookman fixed both Allen and Lavi with a piercing look. "So, Lavi. This is your decision?"

"Sorry, Gramps." Lavi shrugged. "I tried. I just can't..."

"Hmm." The tiny old man turned his gaze to Allen. "I should be angry with you, Allen Walker. This boy was the most promising successor to my position I've ever seen. But then again, I suppose that I should expect no less from the one predicted as the Destroyer of Time, though I wonder if that is a misnomer. Perhaps you are not the Destroyer of Time, but the Destroyer of Eras."

Allen blinked. What?

Bookman settled himself down firmly on the middle of the three beds.

"You two are going to have to be very discreet, if this is your decision," he said, severely. "Most people in the Order aren't going to care, but I can guarantee you that if the Vatican gets wind of this, they will be very upset. They consider this a sin. And the Order depends quite heavily on the absolute support of the Vatican."

"Love is a sin?" Allen blinked.

"In this case, yes." Bookman arched an eyebrow at the white-haired boy. "Anything beyond strict friendship between two men, or two women, is considered a heinous sin. They are very strict on this."

Any further discussion was abruptly forestalled when Allen's left eye suddenly turned red and developed its characteristic monocle. Bookman groaned. With his advanced age, there was only so much he could do in a single day. The fight they'd had earlier in the day had taxed him pretty good.

"Allen!" The door slammed open as Krory stormed in, his distinctive white forelock standing upright. "My fangs -- " As another parasitic type, with a high synchronization rate, Krory could sense that Akuma were around because his fangs would resonate when the Innocence in them detected Akuma. However, unlike Allen's left eye, which could pinpoint the exact location of the Akuma and give a relative indication of its strength (based on its evolution; Allen could tell the level of the Akuma based on the state of the trapped soul within the Akuma), Krory's fangs couldn't tell him anything more detailed than "Akuma nearby."

"There are Akuma nearby," Allen confirmed. "I'm locating them."

"Well, hurry the hell up, beansprout," Kanda growled from the doorway. "We don't want any more collateral damage."

"Found them. There are five Level Threes and a Level Two that looks like it's about to evolve up. Bookman, you stay with the girls. Make sure that Miranda doesn't overtax herself, and make sure that Lenalee stays safe. The four of us can take care of those Akuma. But Krory, don't overdo it. You're still healing too." Allen automatically started issuing orders simply by virtue of him being the strongest one there, and because he could tell the relative strengths of their enemy. Everyone obeyed the orders -- even Kanda -- simply out of expedience.

Kanda vanished down the hall at a sprint.

"Idiot," Lavi grumbled as he grabbed his coat, scarf and gloves. "He didn't even bother to ask where to find the Akuma."

"Lavi," Allen said as he pulled on his greatcoat and silently activated his Innocence, draping himself in the white stole of the Crown Clown. "You take the Level Two. At your current synchronization rate, I think the Level Threes will be beyond you."

Lavi glowered at him; "I'm not a weakling, Allen. You just told Krory to go easy!"

"Krory and Kanda have much higher synchronization rates than you do, Lavi," Allen retorted. "But you're faster than either of them, and the Level Two is heading in a different direction. I think it means to make a kill before coming here."

Lavi hesitated. He'd expected Allen to either argue with him or plead with him. Not _reason_ with him.

"Did you forget? I can see the soul of that Akuma. That Level Two is about to become a Level Three; one more kill will likely do it. The soul is very nearly transformed. You've got to take it down before it makes one more kill. Now, HURRY! It's headed due east of here."

"Gotcha!" Lavi slammed through the door and raced down the corridor. Krory hesitated.

"Which way do you want me go?"

"Go on the roof. They're coming here, they're after Lenalee. I'll go hunting for them; you defend the Inn from any that gets by Kanda or me. If they're smart, they'll attack us in a group so that one can get through. That's where you come in."

"Understood." The baron vanished down the hallway, headed for the stairwell toward the roof.

"Allen Walker," Bookman said as Allen started out the door. "I am not yet ready to give up my successor to you. You don't seem to be very certain that this is what you want. I advise you to be very careful what you do until you're sure. That boy... he can be very fragile at times. And at other times he is inhumanly strong."

"I would rather do almost anything than hurt Lavi, Bookman," Allen said honestly. "However this works out in the end, he is my first true best friend. Come along, Tim!"

With that, Allen raced out of the room, with Timcanpy fluttering along behind him. He focused his attention on the Akuma soul that looked like it was in the worst shape, a sign of the strongest one. The more kills the Akuma made, the worse the condition of the soul bound to it.

 _There it is_. The one closest to the inn was the one in the worst shape, soul-wise. Allen increased his speed, bounding up the stairs two at a time to reach the roof. As he reached the door at the top and pushed through, he saw the looming form of the Level Three.

Two other Level Threes were circling the inn, prepared to pounce simultaneously.

"This looks bad," Krory said from where he perched nearby. "Perhaps you should not have sent Lavi off like that?"

"Then we'd have another Level Three to deal with, if I hadn't." Allen quietly regretted having never evolved Crown Clown with a good long distance attack like his previous Innocence form had had. Cross Grave had only so much for a range. Lavi and Kanda had the best long-range attacks, with Lavi's Fire Seal having significantly greater range than even Kanda's First Illusion.

Kanda appeared from the right hand side, Mugen drawn and activated. He was aiming for the slowest of the three nearby Akuma. Krory launched himself at another one, and Allen took aim at the one he'd been targeting.

 _Let's go, Crown Clown._ He felt the sensation in his left arm go dull as it began to convert, and he drew forth the wide-bladed sword. _Those souls have suffered enough._

* * *

Lavi spun his hammer in his hands as he drew near the Level Two. It was definitely a nimble one, but it had made the mistake of stopping when it sighted him. That had signed its death warrant. He had no intentions of wasting time with this thing; he wanted to prove to Allen that he could keep up with the rest of them, even if his synchronization rate with his Innocence had suffered.

"I don't have time to play with you, so be a darling and get lost!" He yelled crossly at the Akuma and activated the second level of the hammer. The seals began to spin in the air. He briefly considered attempting the new Wind seal he was trying to unlock, but discarded that. He didn't have time to play, hadn't he just said that? He decided to go with his trusted attack: " **Fire Circle! Ash Inferno! Fire Seal!** " He slammed the hammer to the ground, and to his intense relief, it responded immediately.

Around his feet, the Fire Seal formed and launched, with a giant fiery snake forming in its midst.

The nimble Akuma, of course, dodged.

Lavi was thrown back when its tail lashed out and struck him alongside the face.

"Well, this is a surprise," the Akuma said cockily. Despite its masculine appearance, its voice and mannerisms were distinctly feminine. "You weren't the one I expected to see."

"Is that right? Well, sorry, but my ugly face is going to be the last one you ever see."

Another strike, and another miss. Dammit!

"You were saying?" The Akuma said as her tail slapped him across the face again.

"Would you just hurry up and die?! I don't have time for this! **Big Hammer, Little Hammer! Grow! _GROW!_** " He raised the giant hammer's head and swung it down, taking out a small tree as he did so. The Akuma, of course, dodged. _Again_. This was getting really annoying.

"You're kinda cute, you know that, little man?" The Akuma batted the weapon away with her tail. The contact with the hammer's Innocence burned the tail a little bit, but the Akuma seemed to not even notice. This was no ordinary Level Two, clearly.

Right, time for a different approach. He raised his weapon again and let the seals spin. When the Heaven Seal passed him, he slammed through it: " **Heaven Circle! Blazing Thunder, Heaven Seal!** "

Again, it didn't work, though the Heaven Seal did manage to damage the Akuma. What the hell?

_I don't get it, why is it so sturdy? Even though it's almost a Level Three, it hasn't evolved, so it shouldn't be that much stronger than a normal Level Two. I have to stop it quickly, though, before anyone gets in its path, because Allen said that one more kill ought to do it for this thing to evolve. Think, Lavi! If the Fire Seal's not working... well, it's not that it's not working, it's that that damned thing is too fast for it!_

What he needed to do was corner it. But they were out in the open, and none of his confinement attacks were completely unlocked yet. And with the presence of civilians, he didn't have time to perfect anything.

 _Looks like I have no choice but to use the Combo Seal._ He raised the hammer up in the air and activated the second level again, causing the metaphysical seals to start whirling in the air. With deliberate speed, he slammed through first the Heaven Seal and then the Fire Seal. This was almost a last-ditch effort; he hoped he wasn't going to need any more seals with this Akuma.

" **Fire Circle! Heaven Circle! Great Flaming Thunder, Combination Seal!** "

A giant flaming steel snake emerged from the Combo Seal. Imbued with the strength of the Fire Seal and the speed of the Heaven Seal, it was Lavi's best attack, but also most taxing on his stamina. The great snake lunged at the Akuma and hit it squarely. There, the great flames of the Fire Seal, fanned by the heat of the lightning from the Heaven Seal, caught onto the Akuma's material body and conflagrated it. With a screech, the Akuma thrashed twice, and then disappeared into dust and ash.

Lavi sank to one knee in weariness, deciding to catch his breath before he returned to the inn. That Level Two had been HARD.

* * *

Allen was having a hell of a time with his Level Three. This was ridiculous! Krory and Kanda had already each taken down one and were now engaged in battle with the other two. Allen was annoyed with himself because, frankly, defeating Level Three Akuma should be a piece of cake for him. Hadn't he been able to do that easily since evolving Crown Clown? Hadn't he dispelled his first Level Three with just a swish of the hands? Hadn't he fought on equal ground with the Earl himself?

So why the hell was he having trouble with a puny Level Three?! This was beyond stupid.

"Uuuuwaaaaaaah!" A familiar voice bellowed from behind Allen. There was a streak of movement, and then the Akuma in front of Allen was knocked back by the impact of a large black hammer.

"Allen, what's wrong? You're being slow again!" Lavi grinned through the chaos. "I'd expected you to be done by now."

"It's your fault, Eyepatch," Krory called over. "You put his heart in disarray, which means his Innocence is reacting accordingly. Idiot!"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's always my fault, I'm getting used to it!" He spun the handle of his hammer in his hands. "Let's go, Innocence of mine! Time to show Allen that I'm not the weakling he wants to think I am!" The seals began to spin around him. "Allen! I'm going to use the Combo Seal. When I use it, try and match it with something. Between the two of us, we should obliterate this piece of trash."

Allen glared at Lavi for interrupting. _I'm perfectly capable of handling my own Akuma, you moron._

_Oh well. Nothing for it but to cooperate; he's not going to back down._

Lavi unleashed his Combo Seal at the Akuma, and Allen quickly sent forth a concentrated Cross Grave. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kanda appear and execute a First Illusion, adding that to the fray. With three high-powered attacks converging simultaneously, the Akuma exploded into a mist of twisted metal. Allen's cursed eye watched for the crucial moment of release for the soul, and saw its chains break, freeing the soul bound to the Akuma and allowing it to pass beyond to its next existence.

"What would you do without me, Allen?" Lavi was grinning, completely full of himself.

"Probably take that Akuma out with one blow," Krory retorted. "Allen's synchro rate is much higher than any of ours."

Kanda harrumphed. "A beansprout is a beansprout, maximum synchronization or not."

Allen glared at Kanda; "How many times do I need to tell you that my name is -- "

"How many times does it take for you to realize he's doing it just to annoy you?" Lavi interrupted.

"Besides," Krory added, apparently still in his feral state (since his normal persona was far too docile to talk in this manner), "you're all beansprouts to me."

Allen scraped some of the metal-dust from the roof. "I should've been able to handle that one myself, it wasn't that bad."

"I told you," Krory replied, "it's because your heart is in disarray. You and I are remarkably the same, Allen, and you know this. When I think about Eliade too much, my fangs lose their potency and I can't concentrate."

"All you parasitics are the same," Kanda grumbled. "Trying to make something philosophical out of being an Exorcist. It all amounts to the same thing in the end: we destroy what the Earl creates."

"That's rather Machiavellian, your way of thinking, Yuu!"

"Stop calling me that!" Kanda brandished Mugen at Lavi's throat. Lavi skillfully parried it with his hammer, grinning like the fop he was.

"Kanda," Krory said as his white lock of hair cascaded down, signifying the cessation of his feral abilities, "perhaps you should switch rooming assignment with Allen tonight? Allen would do well with some time to think."

Kanda glowered at the tall Romanian, but after a moment's consideration, he snorted; "Hmph." His ice-cold eyes turned to Allen. "Fragile beansprout." Then, sheathing Mugen into its scabbard, he stalked to the stairs and disappeared down them.

Lavi spun his hammer in his hands, allowing it to shrink down to its smallest size and then dropped it expertly in its holster at his thigh. Then he stretched his arms over his head in a gesture that was common for him.

The three Exorcists filed down the stairs to their floor, with Allen silently examining himself, wondering why he'd had so much trouble with that Akuma. Krory remained silent as usual. Lavi, on the other hand, was unusually silent and broody. It seemed as though leaving the open air had reminded him of something grave.

They silently entered the largest room, which was where Lenalee, Miranda and Bookman were currently sitting. At their entrance, the girls stood up silently to leave. Lenalee commented that she couldn't wait to see her brother again, to make sure he was all right.

Allen gathered up his belongings and his suitcase, while Bookman watched silently. Lavi went over to the bed farthest from the window and flopped down on it face-first. Kanda came in silently and set himself up on the bed that Allen was vacating.

"Allen?" Lenalee said hesitantly. "What... what's going on?"

"Krory suggested I room with him; I had trouble finishing that Akuma, and Krory thinks my heart is in disarray, which might account for that. I thought I'd humor him. He might have a point." He raised his voice slightly, hoping Lavi would hear him. "Though I don't think it's fair for him to blame Lavi. It's not like I was forced into anything. It's not Lavi's fault I'm so indecisive."

Lavi didn't respond at all, but Allen was pretty certain that unless the redhead had fallen asleep, he'd heard. Allen departed the room silently and moved four doors down to the smallest room of their three they reserved. Krory was already in there, sitting at the small table, a brand-new game of chess started; his cloak was tossed across the nearer of the two beds.

"I think this was wisest, Allen," Krory said gently, not looking up at him. "Right now we need you at full strength. I think you should focus on whatever it is that gives you strength to fight Akuma. Wait until we settle down in Nice, or wherever, for a while, before exploring this."

"Yeah, I think you're right. I'm so confused I've lost all reason. My head got so full of questions, I couldn't think straight."

"That would be why I suggested this. I have also ordered room service. Between the two of us, we eat a lot."

Allen chuckled as he sat down on his bed. "You're a good friend, Krory. Have I told you recently how glad I am that you left that dreary castle and joined us as an Exorcist?"

"Thank you, Allen. That means a lot to me."

After the food was delivered and both of them had tucked in with alacrity, Allen took to watching Krory in silence as the sun set. The Romanian baron was silent for the most part, opting not to talk, but he played the chess game diligently, methodically decimating the "opposition" (which he was playing as well). Allen had never really watched Krory playing chess, though he knew that he played it a lot.

"Krory, I had no idea you were so skilled in tactics."

The baron laughed self consciously. "I hesitate to call this tactics. I just like playing this game. It keeps my brain busy and keeps me from thinking about dark things."

"I'm pretty sure that game was developed to keep strategists' minds sharp. When you get done with that game, do you mind if I join?"

Krory responded by wiping the board clean and setting it up anew, turning the board so that both could play. "I would be honored."

Several hours later, it was full-dark, the candles were burning low, and Allen had been on a disgusting losing streak.

"I can't seem to beat you at this, Krory."

"I think you are just not trying hard enough, Allen. Either you do not know what you are doing, which I doubt, or you are too nice to let me lose a single game. Or, your concentration is so out of sorts that you cannot even play a game."

"Six of one, half a dozen of the other, and probably a dozen of the third," Allen said sheepishly. "I'm a card-shark, Krory, not a chess-freak. Give me a deck of cards and I'll clean you out. But I've never really played chess. I'm going to have to beg off another game. I'm tired."

"So am I, now that you mention it." The baron cleared the board and put the game away. As he stood up and dressed down to get into bed, he looked over at Allen. "Allen, take my advice on this: try not to think about Lavi too much. I may not have known him as long as you, but my experiences with him as a partner in missions tell me that he would never have said anything to you if he thought that it would affect you this negatively."

"Yeah," Allen said as he pulled off his boots and gloves. "I know. That's what makes it so hard."

Both of them crawled into their beds and puffed out the candles. Before Allen could fall asleep, he heard Krory murmur; "You will find your reason again, Allen. I believe in you. You are the strongest Exorcist I know, and your dedication to saving Akuma is second to none. I have complete faith in you. You saved me from the darkness, and you saved Lavi from the loneliness. If you cannot find your reason again, we will save you ourselves."

"Thank you, Krory."

**Author's Note:**

> In the interest of continuity and to keep with Hoshino's general wishes about the DGM world, I have converted most of the Japanese terms I had originally used to their English counterparts, as per the dub, to some degree. (The dub isn't that bad, guys, so don't hate me for it.) Obviously, "Mugen" wasn't changed because that is still the weapon's name, even in the English version. For Lavi's attacks, I have translated the attacks myself, because I don't agree with the dub's translations and think they were coordinated with mouth movements rather than what the attacks really should be named. Also, I have dropped the honorifics, because as far as we know, they're only there for the Japanese audience; the actual language should be English, according to Hoshino, and we don't use honorifics in English. The only exception is Lavi's nickname for Krory -- because I think "Kro-chan" is too cute to drop.


End file.
